


Semi-Colon

by Batfink



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Friendship, Loss, M/M, Memories, Short & Sweet, Tattoos, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, conversations about suicide, semicolonproject
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 20:26:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5941960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batfink/pseuds/Batfink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a light-hearted conversation about past instances involving suicidal thoughts.</p><p>No-one dies (although their is mention of the death of an OC) and it's not really angsty as it is all in the past.</p><p>Mainly its about the #semicolonproject and how you can't 'tattoo' supersoldiers... unless you have help from Tony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Semi-Colon

“What's this?” Bucky asked rubbing his thumb across the small tattoo he had found just below Clint's ear as he was playing with his hair.

“It's a semi-colon.” Clint replied.

“Why?” Bucky asked.

“You've never heard of the semi-colon project?” Clint asked.

“Oh, I have.” Steve stated from where he was making them lunch in the kitchenette. “That's for suicide survivors.”

“Well, yes.” Clint nodded. “Although that's not all.”

Bucky was looking at him, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“I got mine in memory of a friend I knew a long time ago, back during my circus days.” Clint began as Bucky continued to play with the short strands of hair curling behind his ears. “Dale was my best friend. He looked out for me and my brother. He'd had a rough time of it just like us, but he never let it get him down. He was always there for me, always ready with a joke. On the bad days I used to think, if Dale can get through this shit, so can I.” Clint paused. Tears shining bright but un-shed in his eyes. “Until...” Clint's voice cracked and he coughed to cover it. “Until one day he apparently decided he couldn't get through it any more.”

Bucky moved his hand from Clint's hair and pulled him into a hug. Steve left the lunch and came to join them on the sofa, wrapping himself around Clint from the other side.

“You know. Since we're sharing and all.” Bucky murmured. “I almost did myself in.”

“What!” Clint and Steve exclaimed. “When?”

“The day before I showed up here.” Bucky said quietly. “I still had a knife and I planned to use it.” Clint and Steve were now staring at him shocked.

“What changed your mind?” Clint asked.

“I remembered something. Something from before.” Bucky replied.

“What was it?” Steve asked.

Bucky met his eyes. “It was about you. Do you mind if I share?”

Steve shook his head. “Not at all. There are no secrets between the three of us.”

So Bucky began. “It was the winter after Steve's Mom passed. Steve got real sick. Without telling him I spent the electric money on medicine for him. It wasn't that big a deal. We had plenty of candles for light but no heating. I put all our blankets on one bed and we shared for warmth.” He paused and flicked his eyes back to Steve, could see that he was remembering this now too. He reached out and linked their fingers together on Clint's shoulder.

“I woke up one night to hear Steve crying. 'Stevie, what's wrong'? I asked him.” Before Bucky could continue the story, Steve added his reply from that night.

“You'd be better off without me, Buck. You should be out with some pretty young dame, getting married, having a life.” Steve's eyes were sparkling now too.

Clint twisted around to look at him. “What did you say to that?” He asked Bucky, not taking his eyes off Steve.

“I laughed actually.” Bucky shrugged. “Told him I wasn't interested in dames, or getting married. Told him I had nowhere else I'd rather be than right there with him. He didn't know at that time that I was gay. I'd never told him.”

“I didn't believe you.” Steve added. “I thought you were just trying to make me feel better.”

Bucky nodded. “I know. Do you remember what I did to prove it?”

Steve laughed. “You kissed me. Even though I had a fever, even though I had a runny nose. Even though you had no idea if I would headbutt you.”

Bucky laughed then too. “Yep. I did and it was amazing. Even though you were sweaty and snotty and I was terrified you would never speak to me again. It was still an amazing kiss.” He squeezed Steve's hand. “That was the memory that came back to me that night. That was why I couldn't go through with it. Why I came to find you instead.” He paused and looked to Clint. “Although, to be totally honest, I didn't so much change my mind about suicide, I just figured maybe Steve would put me out of my misery instead.”

Clint and Steve gaped at him.

“Meeting you though, that changed my mind.” Bucky leaned in and pressed a kiss to Clint's lips. “Without the two of you, I wouldn't be here today.”

“You should get a semi-colon tattoo as well then.” Clint informed him.

“We can't be tattooed.” Steve chipped in. “Super soldier serum won't allow it.”

Clint thought for a moment and then his eyes lit up. “I'll be Tony has a laser etching machine. We could get it engraved onto your left arm.”

“Oh! Good plan.” Bucky grinned.

“Does Tony still have your old arm?” Clint continued.

“Yeah.” Bucky nodded. “Man never throws out anything mechanical.”

“Awesome.” Clint grinned. “If we get one of the plates out of the wrist, we could get Tony to engrave that too and make a wrist cuff for Steve.”

Steve smiled. “That would be nice.”

Clint scrambled from between them and got to his feet. Turning, he held out a hand to each of them. “Come on then.”

 

The three of them accosted Tony in his lab moments later and found out he did indeed have a laser etching machine. When they explained to him what they were after he was immediately on board.

“So, what kind of design are you looking for?” He asked.

“A semi-colon.” Bucky replied confused. They had just explained to Tony what they wanted.

“Yeah, but...” Tony pulled up a screen and began tapping away. “There's more than one way to semi-colon.” He threw his arms wide and suddenly the room was filled with all different tattoo designs all showing the semi-colon but many with other things surrounding them. Butterfly wings, musical notes and words where the 'I' was a semi-colon.

Bucky looked at all the designs and then fixed on one with a heart beat line design. “This one.” He declared. “Only, I want two semi-colons to break the line. One for the day I fell off that train.” He caught Steve's eye. “And one for the day, I didn't kill myself.”

Tony nodded and moved over to the laser, punching at the display and then grabbing a stylus and drawing the design free-hand. Bucky crossed over to him and smiled when he saw Tony's design. “You know, that's a perfect representation of your resting heartbeat.” Tony informed him.

Bucky gaped at him. “What?” Tony blushed slightly. “I have a photographic memory and you had to be hooked up to a heart monitor to get your new arm fitted.”

Bucky hugged him then looked to Steve. “What about you Stevie? What do you want?”

Tony had already provided them with Bucky's old arm and Clint was currently in the process of smoothing off the edges of the plate they had decided would be the best fit for Steve, so that it didn't end up slitting his wrist for him.

Steve though for a moment. “Would you mind if mine was the same?” He asked. “Only with the semi-colons closer together. One for that night you talked about.” He paused and then added quietly. “And one for the day I went into the ice.”

“I knew you did that on purpose!” Bucky exclaimed.

“Yeah well, ancient history.” Steve shrugged as Bucky shook his head.

“Same but different. No worries.” Tony grinned. “Hop up, Buckster.” He patted the workbench in front of the laser.

“You know what Steve's heart rate looks like too?” Bucky asked as he hopped up on the workbench.

Tony grinned. “Course I do. Now hold still while I shut down your arm.”

“What for?” Clint asked as he came over with the cuff.

“What for what?” Tony asked and Clint gestured to where Tony was typing in the remote override for Bucky's arm. “Oh, that. Well, the laser is really, really hot and the sensors in Bucky's arm mean that he will feel like he is being burned if I don't shut it down.”

“Oh.” Clint gasped.

It took less than five minutes to do Bucky's engraving and restart his arm and then Tony set to work on Steve's design. Bucky's design was on the inside of his forearm, running length-wise along it, across three plates. He smiled as he ran the fingers of his right hand across the design and then he moved his arm closer to his face and squinted at the design before laughing.

“You made the dot on the second semi-colon into Steve's shield.” He chuckled looking to Tony who was now engraving Steve's cuff. “And this comma, what is that, is that a feather?”

Tony smiled. “A hawk feather.” He handed the cuff to Steve.

“Hey, look. He did it to mine too.” Steve laughed.

“You know...” Tony looked at Clint. “I have a tattoo gun too. You wanna add another one to your collection.”

“Only if you do.” Clint grinned back at him.

Which is how Clint and Tony both ended up with a semi-colon tattoo on the inside of their wrists. Clint's with Steve's shield for the dot and Tony's with an image of his arc-reactor, both with hawk feathers for the comma.

“Is Colonel Rhodes going to be upset now that you have my feather tattooed on your arm?” Clint asked. “Might think he's not your BFF anymore.”

“Nah, I'm sure he'll be fine with it.” Tony shrugged.

“Well, since you have his name tattooed on your ass, I don't think he has room to complain.” Steve chuckled.

“What!” Bucky and Clint squealed giggling as Tony turned crimson.

“Wait, how do you know about that?” Bucky asked.

“Rhodey told me one night when he was drunk.” Steve grinned.

“It was for a dare.” Tony insisted, still blushing.

“Sure it was.” Clint sang.

“Get out.” Tony huffed pointing at the door and the three of them left, still sniggering.


End file.
